On Becoming
“I’m not really a water girl,” she said.
This came from an athlete who recently hired me to help her prepare for her first Ironman event this fall. “Can you help me learn how to swim?”
Of course I can. And first, we will start with your mindset.
It likely rings true to her that she is not a “water girl”. She didn’t grow up swimming, and therefore water environment is not one where her brain feels completely comfortable. And. When we say things like that — either out loud or just silently to ourselves — we reinforce the idea that we’re not very competent in the water.
When this is the story we’re telling ourselves, how do we then tend to act? Less likely to go to the pool, and less likely to expect any real progress when we do go, which confirms our original thinking → ‘Not a water girl.” We are pretty good at proving ourselves right!
And. Our stories can shift. How? Start by playing with the words. Translate the statement and see what happens.
As we look to ways we can translate that statement so it is still both true and more empowering, how might we do it? In this case, simply removing the ‘not’ doesn’t work because it won’t be true (yet). I.e. repeating “I am a water girl” over and over is nothing more than gaslighting, and it’s not likely to be helpful, because deep down we know it isn’t true.
How about this: “I am becoming a water girl.” That can definitely ring true. If she took the steps to enter an Ironman, hire a coach, and is putting herself in the water environment more frequently, then indeed, she is becoming a water girl.
And how does that statement feel to say? Is it more empowering? Becoming anything can indeed feel motivating. I’m on the path to improvement! Dopamine is the molecule of motivation. We can improve our motivation levels by using different words. It really is that simple.
We can use our words to shift the way we think, which shifts the way we feel, which shifts the way we act, which ultimately shifts the outcomes we obtain.
Translate to make it more personal (simply trade the ‘we’ for ‘I’, and ‘our’ to ‘my’):
I can use my words to shift the way I think, which shifts the way I feel, which shifts the way I act, which ultimately shifts the outcomes I obtain.
Feels even more empowering, doesn’t it?
Ultimately, the way to improve your swimming is to spend more time in the water environment, practicing swimming. In the 16+ years I’ve spent coaching, a clear pattern has emerged that differentiates people who are efficient swimmers vs those who are not. The former group spends WAY more time in the water than the latter group. That’s likely time spent over an entire lifetime. This is a lesson I’m learning again for myself right now.
To get good at swimming, I have to swim a lot. The more I swim, the stronger I feel when I’m swimming. The stronger I feel, the longer I can go, and the longer I can hold pace for distance. Then I feel my paces getting faster, which makes it more enjoyable to do. I like having the capacity to push myself! That makes me want to go to the pool more often. I start planning my days around when I’m going to swim (vs just waiting to see if a swim might happen to fit in- spoiler alert- it won’t). So that’s the way the cycle works, and it starts with me believing that I have the ability to improve my swimming.
For those of you following along, I’ve been swimming 4-5x/week, for the last 14 weeks (after 5 months off). I’m currently up to ~15k/week total volume. The frequent consistent work works. I feel like a water girl again. I am a water girl.
I was on a call with another athlete who was describing a challenging bike ride and she said in a determined voice, “You have to have the right mindset.”
I knew what she meant. And we went through the translation process anyway.
You have to have the right mindset.
I have to have the right mindset.
I get to have the right mindset.
I have the right mindset.
How does the last statement feel in comparison to the first statement?
Play with your words. See what happens.